Blog 4: Mushfaking the mushfake

I honestly don’t know if I have ever done mushfake. Even though I don’t know, I feel like I also do know. I read that we all do it. It’s probably something I do, extensively, that I simply didn't know had an actual name. If I am being honest, I guess I have done it a couple of times. . . At new jobs, and one of the biggest ones when I first got to State! 

Looking back, I guess I would mention starting college. Even though High School was supposed to prepare us for life in college. College was then supposed to prepare me for University.  It was still scary and new. I won’t lie, I was very excited. Yes, it was school, but it was a new journey for me, and I could not wait. Even though I was excited, I was nervous . . . Nervous for assignments, nervous for learning, nervous for what I didn’t know, nervous to be around new people. Nervous to be there, period. 

I have taken many classes of course, but each one is different from the one before. Even if the topic itself was the same. Once I finished community college, I went on to go to San Diego State. I had never ever before been to the campus, so my first day was literally my first day.   I wasn’t familiar with the setting, I wasn’t familiar with University in general, it was all new. Just because I read the syllabus, I walked in as if I knew everything, I guess I thought and even wanted it to be just like community college. 

There was plenty to figure out. Where was my next class? Was I heading in the right direction? Was this the major for me? Did I like my classes, my professors? Here is where I did mushfake, I walked like I knew where I was going. I really made it seem like I knew everything that was going on in class, just because I listened and read the syllabus. 

I honestly think I am mushfaking right now, because I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now. (You might have noticed) I mushfake in life. . . Everyday. Don’t know what’s to come, but I act like I’m ready to handle it all. . . when I really am not.